


all i have, you know it's yours

by joshllyman



Series: kurodai week 2020 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Deaf Character, Deaf Sawamura Daichi, M/M, Nightmares, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:22:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24083530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshllyman/pseuds/joshllyman
Summary: The hardwood is cold under his bare feet when he stands. He turns to carefully adjust the blankets around his partner, making sure he’s fully covered before heading out of the bedroom. His guitar is on the stand in the living room where he’d left it the evening before. It calls out to him, and it’s in his hands before he quite agrees to picking it up.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Series: kurodai week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734499
Comments: 16
Kudos: 105
Collections: KuroDai Week 2020





	all i have, you know it's yours

**Author's Note:**

> title and lyrics are from Mat Kearney's "All I Have," and since I'm not Mat Kearney, they're not mine.  
> written for day 3 of kurodai week 2020: sound/silence

Tetsurou blinks up at the ceiling as his eyes adjust to the darkness of the room. When he’d checked his phone a few minutes ago, his retinas burning with the brightness of the screen, it had declared it was just after two in the morning. He shouldn’t be awake, considering he’s got work in a few hours, but he supposes it can’t be helped.

The last images of the nightmare still appear behind his eyes when he closes them.

He clenches his fist and releases it slowly, hoping to chase away the tension in his muscles. When it doesn’t help, he sighs and looks over at Daichi, who’s still sound asleep. Daichi’s eyes flutter once and he lets out a quiet snore. Tetsurou smiles and leans over to press a kiss to Daichi’s forehead.

The hardwood is cold under his bare feet when he stands. He turns to carefully adjust the blankets around his partner, making sure he’s fully covered before heading out of the bedroom. His guitar is on the stand in the living room where he’d left it the evening before. It calls out to him, and it’s in his hands before he quite agrees to picking it up.

At first, he plucks chords aimlessly, with no particular rhyme or reason. His fingers form the positions for the chords without conscious thought on his part. Before long, though, he finds himself playing the song he always comes back to.

_ Here we go at it three years later, will you help me to dream it all up again? _

He doesn’t need to keep his voice down, but he does anyway, a habit picked up from when he lived with Bokuto, the world’s lightest sleeper. Bokuto is halfway across the world these days, a professional volleyball player in the United States, and though he’s glad for his friend, his heart aches. The nightmare rises in his vision again.

He grits his teeth and sings a bit louder, trying to drown out the panic in his head.

_ I’m tired of the same song everyone’s singing; I’d rather be lost with you instead. _

The nightmare is one that’s dogged him since childhood, since he fell asleep burying his head between pillows to try to hush the shouting between his parents. It’s changed in who is featured, but not in format.

He wakes up in his bed, reaching across for Daichi, who isn’t there. He checks his phone and finds that there are no messages from Daichi, that he doesn’t even exist in his contacts. He flips through his texts, desperate, and finds that Bokuto, Akaashi, even Kenma are gone. He searches for photo evidence and can’t find any, of any of them. 

He usually wakes just as the crushing fear of being truly and entirely  _ alone _ begins to hit him.

He takes a steadying breath and tries to focus on the music he’s bringing into existence.

_ Don’t you come around here, come around here anymore, draggin’ my fears, draggin’ my fears out the door _

He hears Daichi slide out of bed and frowns to himself. The words from the song die off, even as he continues to strum the chords. Daichi stands in the doorway and watches him, and Tetsurou feels the weight of his gaze from across the room. He stops playing and meets Daichi’s eyes.

_ “What are you doing?”  _ Daichi signs as he walks into the living room.

Tetsurou sets his guitar aside.  _ “Couldn’t sleep,” _ he answers.  _ “You have a long day tomorrow, you should go back to bed.” _

_ “Sleep is overrated.” _ Daichi crosses the living room and sits beside Tetsurou, who lifts his arm automatically. He presses a kiss against Daichi’s temple. Daichi has to twist in his arms for Tetsurou to see his signing, but it’s a practiced dance between the two of them.  _ “Bad dream?” _

Tetsurou only nods. Daichi inhales on a four count, exhales on an eight. Tetsurou can tell Daichi’s doing this for his benefit, and although he’s not quite sure it will help, he falls into the same paced breathing. In for four, out for eight. In for four, out for eight. A siren screams through the streets outside, causing him to tense again. Daichi lifts his head from where it’s fallen on Tetsurou’s shoulder.

_ “Will you play for me?” _ Daichi asks.

Tetsurou nods and picks his guitar back up. Daichi maneuvers so he’s out of the way and presses three fingers lightly against Tetsurou’s throat. Tetsurou takes a deep breath and relaxes into the music and the familiarity of Daichi’s touch.

_ All I have, all I have, all I have, well, you know it’s yours; every breath, every step, every moment I’m looking for. _

Out of the corner of his eye, Tetsurou can see that Daichi’s eyes have fallen shut, his lips turned upward in a soft smile. In the days before Daichi, Tetsurou’s voice had something of a reputation for being able to lure even the most stubborn into his bed. He tended to use it as a weapon, its silky sweet tendrils wrapping around his victims and causing them to fall under his spell. 

Meeting Daichi, of course, had changed all of that.

These days his voice is something of an afterthought. He still sings, because he can’t imagine an existence without music, without being able to lift his voice in song when he’s happy and pour his heart out when he’s sad. But he keeps it to himself, mostly, and to Daichi when he’s able. Daichi can’t hear him in a traditional sense, but they can still share moments like these, the music traveling from Tetsurou’s heart into Daichi’s via the connection of touch. 

_ All I have, all I have, all I have is yours, and you’re watching my heart break a little bit more, my heart break a little bit more. _

Tetsurou’s voice goes silent, even as his hands still dance on the neck of the guitar. Daichi’s hand drops from Tetsurou’s throat to his waist, and he waits patiently for Tetsurou to pull the music out from under his skin. He plays a while longer, just chords accompanied by soft humming. It’s not long before he feels Daichi slump against him.

He sets the guitar carefully on its stand. He’s used to Daichi falling asleep whenever, wherever, so it’s with no small amount of grace and ease that he manipulates them into laying down. Daichi’s lying mostly on top of him. He doesn’t mind at all. Daichi’s solid weight is the comfort he needs to shake away the last dredges of the nightmare that haunted him. He reaches up and grabs the blanket they keep on the back of the couch and tugs it over both of them.

In a sleepy haze, Daichi places his hand over Tetsurou’s heart. He’s said before that Tetsurou’s pulse is the most comforting thing he’s ever felt, and he’s prone to reaching out, tugging Tetsurou closer to him until he can feel it as he falls asleep. His finger taps three staccato beats against Tetsurou’s chest.

_ I love you. _

Tetsurou breathes in on four and out on eight, more relaxed than he’s felt since he woke up. He runs his fingers through Daichi’s hair and rests his hand flat on Daichi’s back, tapping out four beats in response.

_ I love you, too. _

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to [tawnya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beauxxxtiful_lies) for the beta, and to the rest of my team as always  
> links to socials in profile


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